Recently, I had to apologize. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal but in this particular case it was difficult. It was difficult because this person is important to someone I love and I don't want to lose them. It was difficult because what caused all of this was their actions that actually hurt my feelings. It was difficult because I was trying to handle this situation in an adult manner and was met with defensiveness and disbelief. I was left feeling like the attacker.
I don't understand it and I know I won't. I thought I was being the bigger person by apologizing but after reading a series of articles, on the proper way to apologize, I realized there is no "bigger person". All it is, simply, is realizing that your words or actions hurt someone and then apologizing for that no matter how a disagreement shapes out. In my case, telling someone how their words made me feel resulted in their feelings getting hurt. My intentions were only to make them realize the repercussions of their words and how they affect people. However, through these words I hurt someone. So I apologized. I apologized for how I made them feel and I also said I would strive to solve issues like this in a better manner in the future.
Do I think this person understands anything I said, no. I think this is just who they are. But in order to maintain good relationships I must go forward and strive to be a better human. One that can maintain a level head, one that can put myself in others shoes, or strive to understand someone else's point of view, and one that knows when to be silent and when to push for change.
I have learned that you won't always get along or agree with everyone but through words and actions you can try to find a common ground or a place of respect. It isn't easy but no one said it was going to be.
I don't understand it and I know I won't. I thought I was being the bigger person by apologizing but after reading a series of articles, on the proper way to apologize, I realized there is no "bigger person". All it is, simply, is realizing that your words or actions hurt someone and then apologizing for that no matter how a disagreement shapes out. In my case, telling someone how their words made me feel resulted in their feelings getting hurt. My intentions were only to make them realize the repercussions of their words and how they affect people. However, through these words I hurt someone. So I apologized. I apologized for how I made them feel and I also said I would strive to solve issues like this in a better manner in the future.
Do I think this person understands anything I said, no. I think this is just who they are. But in order to maintain good relationships I must go forward and strive to be a better human. One that can maintain a level head, one that can put myself in others shoes, or strive to understand someone else's point of view, and one that knows when to be silent and when to push for change.
I have learned that you won't always get along or agree with everyone but through words and actions you can try to find a common ground or a place of respect. It isn't easy but no one said it was going to be.
