I complain when I workout. It's something I have known about myself but never really thought much of because well... I didn't care. Yesterday, Alex and I went to the middle school track and field and met up with some friends. We were going to do a track workout. Eight 400's to be exact. We would sprint one 400 jog the next and so on till we had done eight laps. As we were warming up I kept saying there is no way I am going to be able to do this. During the workout I found myself complaining about my legs and cramps and at one point I thought to myself just shut up! But I didn't. Then as we were rounding the corner of the last sprint lap I found myself turning to my friend and saying let's finish this one strong. Seriously, those words came out of my mouth.

Later that night, sitting in bed rubbing Alex's feet with Vaseline and putting socks on them so his feet might be a little less rough, I translated my thoughts to him. I came to the conclusion that maybe the reason I complain is because every time I used to work out there was a pressure to perform and be the best. Soccer revolved around making times and beating others. The pressure I was put under was hard but the pressure I put on myself was worse. The fear of somehow not finishing in time or not being the best was crippling. So, I would complain that way the end results didn't matter as much, at least to me. And here I am today, still trying to find reasons why I can't do or finish things.

Why can't I be ok with being second best? Why can't I put myself in the mind frame to start small and work my way up? Why can't I start my workouts like I finish? Strong and determined.

I want to be successful at all things but can't with the attitude I have now. I hope to be more aware of my thoughts and what comes out of my mouth from now on. I will also work on being encouraging and feeding my mind and the people around me with motivation and positivity. One day my normal reaction wont be to complain but instead to say let's do this!

I think I may have slightly overdone it with the amount of activities I have signed up for. Sunday I had two indoor soccer games we won one and lost one. Monday I started ultimate frisbee and we had no female subs so I played for two hours then I had to go play an outdoor soccer game. Get this after the game I got asked to join another soccer team. Oh and Wednesday I had kickball. I need to learn how to say no and not feel incredibly guilty. If I keep this up there will be little down time and a whole lot of sports...I mean if I only I wasn't such an incredible athlete.